The need to be emotionally and socially joined to others — to truly belong to a "we," not just be tolerated at the edges.

Does this sound familiar?

You can be in a full room and still feel on the outside of it.

You rehearse, over-give, or go quiet to keep people close.

A slow reply or a canceled plan can land like rejection.

You're not always sure people would miss you if you stepped back.

This isn't a flaw in you.

It's a need — one every human has — that may not have been fully met. What hurt you wasn't only about

what happened. It was about what was missing. And the way you've learned to cope makes sense.

Three questions worth asking:

• Where did you first learn your place in a "we" was uncertain?

• What would belonging have looked like for you as a child?

• Why do some people's distance hurt so much more than others'?

These are exactly the questions Missing Pieces walks you through — where this need went unmet, what you

were actually looking for, and what you can do to meet it now.

Where to go next:

The core-needs signature series — Missing Pieces (the past), Bad Blood (the present), and Good Company (the future). Three little books with a lotta power.

Ask Sara — you're on the list now (don’t worry, you can unsubscribe at anytime.) I’ll send you a few letters written for people whose missing piece is safety, and you can reply anytime with a question. Emails to the broader group normally go out only once a week, unless there’s a special reason for more.